It's always about me

Now, I'm at my hometown, Baling. Just reach this morning. I want to spend some time with my parent. My sibling is not gonna love this because everyone keep asking whether I would like to do part time job or not. I love to, but what's the point being the youngest child if I don't take this few weeks left before start a new semester if I'm not spending them with mak and abah. Haha... What a spoilt... =p

Recently I spend lot of time updating my blog and share more often my life's story. Left my FB undisturbed and I just comment necessary post and update. Home sweet home. Abah is still the same man. The only thing make abah look different is he become older... weaker... ''Ya Allah, have mercy on my father, bless him for deeds he had done to me.'' So do my mom. Nothing gets better. The illness never been better. ''Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, The Most Merciful, please forgive all bad deeds of my parent'''

Old memory keeps knocking my mind. I love follow abah go to mosque. Things change, if before this, he is the driver, but these days, I am the driver every morning to go to mosque. I still remember, during my young age, if abah wake up me up in the early morning and ask me to get ready to go to mosque, I hate abah very much and I always babbling every time. But, now I missed those moments very much. I missed the way abah called my name every morning to wake me up. I missed mom’s nagging when I didn't take bath but only brush my teeth before go to mosque. Lalalala..~ Kiddo!! It was wonderful moment. What a wonderful life. Somehow, I have to accept that the childhood phase is over because now, I am an adult. There will be another phase I need to face.

During my adult phase, I was 'accidentally' fall in love with someone. (Accident huh?? ermmm... yo la... Tetibo jo den suko kat dio... Nak buek camno). Literally, this is my first serious relationship. I never had an experience before. So, to kamu, if you read this, I'm sorry for being imperfect and unable to be a Prince Charming for you. But, I only can promise you one thing; I will do my best and put away my ego and ignorance if it is all needed to make this relationship better. I try to be a better man ever since I made my confession. Thank you to kamu because of you, I don't feel so much hurt leaving scouting since I can fill my empty heart by remembering you.

Something inside me had change. But I don't know what it is. Haih~ I, Mohd Hilmi Bin Mat Saad, I am the youngest child of Hj Mat Saad Bin Hassan and Hjh Nor Afzar Binti Abd Rahman now promise will be a better son and better man to her and I will do my best to not hurting any of you yet vow to love every of you with all my heart..

''La illa hailla anta, subha naka inni kuntu minaz-zolimin''

Truly;

::: Hilmi :::